First, apologies for my prolonged absence, but even Curious Lady needs a summer vacation. My summer has been very eventful, with road trips, new friendships, and impending auntie-hood (my little brother and his girlfriend are expecting a daughter in a few weeks!). The time away has given me the opportunity to mull things over and, with my sophomore radio appearance in a couple weeks, several questions have perplexed me: Can men and women just be friends? What is so difficult about liking or even loving someone but not approving of what they choose to do or how they choose to live their life? I won't expound on this last thought because this will be the topic of my radio appearance with Call Me Mom.
First, can a man and woman just be friends? I think yes, mainly because the vast majority of my friends are guys. Admittedly, there was, at some point, some sort of attraction on one or both of our parts. But we ended up as friends, for whatever reason. There is something invaluable about having someone of the opposite sex as a friend. Also, the fact that my guy friends are people with whom I can talk about and ask anything makes the friendship that much easier to maintain. We bounce ideas off each other, especially about relationships and understanding the opposite gender. I pick my guy friends' brains for information about how the male mind works, why guys do certain things, how they perceive girlish behavior, etc. And vice versa.
The fact that men are infinitely more straightforward than women makes a male-female friendship less stressful than many same sex friendships. I know that if I ask a guy friend a question, I will get a straight, honest answer; I don't have to worry about hidden agendas or alternate meanings. And perhaps it's more the personal caliber of the friends I choose, but I can count on their honesty and the fact that they won't tell me just what I want to hear.
The problem with having close friends of the opposite sex arises when one or both of those friends are in relationships with other people. As a single woman, my male friendships have posed only a slight hindrance to my love life, but usually once my significant other is assured that my friendships are strictly platonic, everything is just fine. The issue may become more tenuous when and if I get married, for obvious reasons. In a marriage, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, the one you go to no matter what. But I am totally unwilling to sacrifice my friends, so my husband will either have to deal with it or we will have to set boundaries, such as group lunches only. But still, it is very possible for men and women to simply be friends without the relationship turning any more intimate.
First, can a man and woman just be friends? I think yes, mainly because the vast majority of my friends are guys. Admittedly, there was, at some point, some sort of attraction on one or both of our parts. But we ended up as friends, for whatever reason. There is something invaluable about having someone of the opposite sex as a friend. Also, the fact that my guy friends are people with whom I can talk about and ask anything makes the friendship that much easier to maintain. We bounce ideas off each other, especially about relationships and understanding the opposite gender. I pick my guy friends' brains for information about how the male mind works, why guys do certain things, how they perceive girlish behavior, etc. And vice versa.
The fact that men are infinitely more straightforward than women makes a male-female friendship less stressful than many same sex friendships. I know that if I ask a guy friend a question, I will get a straight, honest answer; I don't have to worry about hidden agendas or alternate meanings. And perhaps it's more the personal caliber of the friends I choose, but I can count on their honesty and the fact that they won't tell me just what I want to hear.
The problem with having close friends of the opposite sex arises when one or both of those friends are in relationships with other people. As a single woman, my male friendships have posed only a slight hindrance to my love life, but usually once my significant other is assured that my friendships are strictly platonic, everything is just fine. The issue may become more tenuous when and if I get married, for obvious reasons. In a marriage, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, the one you go to no matter what. But I am totally unwilling to sacrifice my friends, so my husband will either have to deal with it or we will have to set boundaries, such as group lunches only. But still, it is very possible for men and women to simply be friends without the relationship turning any more intimate.